Thoughts of an Unknown

Distant from the glorified dreams
I thought would come true
But this sickness entails the cancerous truth
and it's spreading like the plague
Learn to never get my hopes up again

because punishment is always forthcoming

In this sunlight I can see how withered I am
I'm light-headed from lack of sleep
and the starvation I caused numb with addiction
but it's all I have right now
You're not the one to blame
because I realised I wasn't good enough in the first place

I've never realised how little I thought of myself
until I saw how ugly I concieved myself to be

Yet it never once occured to you
that I was trying to catch your eye
I'm leftover from the receding past
for a world that is bitter and grey

I wish I was someone else
without the pathetic notions
that I am apparently a tortured soul
just a stupid weakling
and I shouldn't say so
though I can see I am different
I still perpetuate the ideal
I'll live alone until the sun burns out