I will not drown.
I do not float; I merely sink like the most insignificant of stones.
I do not drown; I merely dissolve & expand, my intentions smeared black.
You see these scars and ask aloud, “What have you done to yourself?”
A smile returned, lips so tight that I feel the flesh burst into a scarlet bloom.
“This is not me. These hands do not feed the want. These eyes do not water as the waxen skin catches, hesitates, and releases. This is not me.”
A lie so perfectly constructed that it crumbles at the seams.
The ghosts of the thoughts that I left starved & dirty in the shadows of my mind have crawled out, and are now pulling on my strings. They pull, pause, a silent laugh etched on their features, and pull again. Up, down, up, midair (swing, swing, swing), down.
This is all my fault.
This is all my fault.
Doctor, I am not well.
But I will only reveal such when I am left with nothing but my own rot, a feast to the eyes of your students, your family, your neighbors.
Until then, leave me here to sink.
Crossed fingers: I will not drown.
I do not drown; I merely dissolve & expand, my intentions smeared black.
You see these scars and ask aloud, “What have you done to yourself?”
A smile returned, lips so tight that I feel the flesh burst into a scarlet bloom.
“This is not me. These hands do not feed the want. These eyes do not water as the waxen skin catches, hesitates, and releases. This is not me.”
A lie so perfectly constructed that it crumbles at the seams.
The ghosts of the thoughts that I left starved & dirty in the shadows of my mind have crawled out, and are now pulling on my strings. They pull, pause, a silent laugh etched on their features, and pull again. Up, down, up, midair (swing, swing, swing), down.
This is all my fault.
This is all my fault.
Doctor, I am not well.
But I will only reveal such when I am left with nothing but my own rot, a feast to the eyes of your students, your family, your neighbors.
Until then, leave me here to sink.
Crossed fingers: I will not drown.