I Don't Want The World To See Me

I don't want the world to see this.
To see me like this.
Angry.
To see my anger coming out on my arms.

The scars are slowly ebbing away.
But to be made fresh.
The scabs peel away,
Revealing blood that flows deep within me.

I shake so much now.
I can't seem to keep control.
I press the razor down, to keep my hand steady,
But it still shakes and slides along my arm.

Its's hard for me to do this.
To stay alive in the world that hates me.
To keep on going every day,
To be hit and beat by words thrown at me.

I know you understand me,
But you don't want to help.
And I don't want to go home right now.
I just don't want to lose me in this.

When everything is meant to be broken,
It seems I have to be to.
I just want to know who I am.
But it seems I can't.

I can't fight the tears,
The ones that slide down my bloody and scared face.
I wipe them away,
And put on the makeup.

I go out into the crowd,
And put on a happy face.
But you don't know me,
The real me.

And you never will.
The real me is sad.
Always angry.
Torn apart by something going on in my life.