When You Found Out

Try to stop?
I really do.
But all I need is to see that I can feel something, anything.

I was trying to stop,
but everything went downhill in the middle of March.
You drove away and your voice was rough.
It sounded like you were going to cry.

I am oh so terribly sorry for how you found out and I hope you don't get mad.
I lied to you in the store but I wasn't ready to face anyone.
I would have told Grandma and talked to her about everything,
but I can't.

I know it's hard,
what you might be coping with.
I hope you remember that I am looking for support, not judgement.

I guess you don't really know what I'm talking about,
but hear this: I cut myself, not because I want attention,
but because I don't know what my purpose in life is.

I hope you understand.