You Are Suffocating Me

Dear friend,

You are so special, so important, you mean the world to me--this confused, laughing, angst-filled teen with a rebellious mind and a compliant spirit.

I want to say that I don't know what I would do without you, who I would be, what I would dream...but secretly? Honestly, I do know.

I would ride out on my crusading wave into a golden sunset, raising the bird & shouting to the wind, "I am FREE!"

But oh, oh, no, no. Please don't think I mean to say that I don't love you. Please don't cry and be hurt by this--these true blue slicing words. I don't mean anything harshly, I don't mean you anymore pain. But--God!--look at me! What am I doing? Coddling, babying, tip-toeing through our friendship--gingerly trying not to crack any more pieces of your shattered, bleeding hearts.

I'm not a surgeon, I'm not a therapist, I'm not special, I'm not brilliant, I'm not lovely or wonderful or strong! You don't need me! God, Please don't Need me. I can't help you. I can't fix you. I can't save you. Please, please. Let me breath, give me air.
I love you. You're beautiful. But please, please, let me go & learn to stand on your own.
Don't you see? This co-dependence is suffocating me.