The Promise Never Kepted

The feeling.

It won't go away.

The feeling.

Its just there.

I don't want to feel like this anymore.

The feeling... of confusion, pain, misery.

Where am I?

Whats going on?

Where's my mommy and daddy?

Why?

Suddenly a noise.

The car door slowly opens to reveal light.

Hands grab my shoulders and pull on me.

I close my eyes and let tears fall.

The feeling is back and it hurts.

Mommy screams as daddy holds onto her.

She runs over, "My baby, Oh god my baby!"

"Mommy" I slowly say. Tears and red stuff on her face.

"Ma'am we have to get her to the hospital right away." Someone says.

Mommy and daddy get in a plane with me and we fly in the air to somewhere.

I feel excited to be in the air but the bad mean feeling enters me again. Please just go away.

Mommy holds my hand tight and daddy brushes my hair with his hand, both silent, both praying.

My eyes soon close as I dream and dream and dream.

I am awaken by a loud noise. A door opens with mommy and daddy running next to me.

I feel i'm on a bed and see lots of people around me.

The moving bed stops and a stranger comes over with others.

Lots of cloth are on me and I feel sicky red stuff on my fingers, face, and tiny body.

I hear mommy say, "Please please help my baby!"

"I'll do everything I can for her." The stranger says.

"We need to operate on her imedetly. You'll have to stay in the waiting room."

Mommy says, "No I'm not leaving her!"

But daddy stops her. "Let them take her, I promise we'll see her soon.

The bed starts moving, I lift my head as much as I can to see my mommy on the floor and daddy watching me leave.

I very quickly get scared, confused and alone. I want my daddy. "Daddy!" I yell screaming with tears in my eyes but the tears only hurt them. "Daddy no!!! I want my daddy!" I scream.

"Daddy's right her baby. Don't worry I promise I'll see you soon. I promise."

I promise, the last words I hear daddy say before I'm pushed into a room.

My screams are soon silenced by a mask put over my mouth. Tears hurt my eyes but I don't stop crying. People around me saying things I don't understand.

The feeling...

Its back.

I hear" They were in a car crash, the parents have minor injuries but the girl suffered the most. We need to take exrays, she has glass lodged in her head and deep puncture wounds. Get on this stat!"

"Hurry we don't want to lose her! She's only 5 for christ sakes!"

That feeling.

It suddenly fades away. I feel a tint of happiness and soon I see my daddy's smiling face over me. I remember him buckling me in my big girl seat. Kissing me on my forehead and telling me thats my girl. I remember hearing my mommy scream. Feeling the car flip over and being upside down like how my daddy turned me upside down when we would play princess and dragon. I remember falling from my big girl seat and thats when the feeling started.

My eyes soon closed as the last thing I saw was my daddy and me playing chase and the smile on are faces.

Then as the feeling finally fades, a light.

A light appears.

I hear my daddy say, "Thats it baby come to daddy, come here."

I see him standing there in the light so I run.

I run like I always do when he comes home.

I run into his arms but the light, it takes over.

My daddy is gone.

Now in a light filled room I see.

I see what mommy calls heaven.

I feel happy and peacful and I want to run into heaven but.

But something stops me. I feel confused, scared, and alone without my daddy.

I cry and say, "I want my daddy. I want to go home."

I use the back of my hand to wipe my tears away.

Soon a princess appears and says in a soft voice, "This is your new home where you will be loved just as much as you were in your old home."

"But daddy said no one would ever love me as much as he does." I say still crying.

"Here take my hand. I will protect you and be your best friend. You will never feel alone, scared, or confused anymore." The pretty princess says.

"Your daddy will always love you forever and you'll see him again one day. I promise."

Those words.

I promise.

I take the princess' hand and we walk side by side into the light. A small smile appears on my face as I know I'm going to a place happy where I can never have that feeling again. Just as the light is almost gone I turn my head.

To take one last look at what I'm leaving behind and I smile feeling safe. But then I remember.

Daddy didn't keep his promise.