A heart that is breaking

It's not what I was searching for
Not what I thought it would be, Love.
Feels so whole
Rips me apart inside
Tears. . . fears. . .
Nothing but pain.
It's not just in my head
You did this to me
I can't stop the anxiety
The fear of not knowing
Trust not there, gone. . . gone.

Make up your fucking mind,
Make up my fucking mind!

I'm scared
I don't want it to end
I don't want the fear anymore. . .
How does the tension come?
By itself?
Without its roots?
Why. . .
Is it me?
Is it just you?
Let me know as much.

I'm lucky and grateful
It comes creeping back
Confuses my head
Argues with my heart
Which is right?
Which is best?
Heart break seems clear
I choose to trust my heart.

Bitten by pain, deliberate maybe?
Given away so much
I am not a child anymore

Doesn't seem much lost in your beautiful green eyes
I've lost everything
Innocence
Feeling
The will to be anything
Do I want it forever?
I'm not so sure anymore.
Stupidity bit my ass, slapped my cheek, left satisfied
Game over.

I've found who I am
Maybe who I want to be.
Tired of being your everything
I need an everything.
I can't get through my life without it

I trust my heart,
As much as your actions cause my tears
As much as those actions drag my soul along the pavement
I trust my heart.