Dear Grandma, I Love You, Love Me
Dear Grandma,
I know you’ll never get this letter,
But that doesn’t mean I can’t write, does it?
Well, I don’t care if it does, because, I’m writing to you anyway.
Maybe you are reading what I write right now,
Only you would know that.
Well, I just want to express some things,
That I have been feeling and thinking lately,
So here goes nothing.
I know when I leave, I’ll be depressed,
Because I’ll be leaving mom,
But I’ll also be leaving behind,
The familiar places that remind me of you.
I should be happy about that, since,
Going to those places, or passing them,
Bring painful memories of happier times.
But I know I’ll be sad, because,
I won’t be able to have those memories,
With out the haze of time distorting them,
If I am not near the places that make them clear.
Would you be sad that I am leaving?
Or understanding, because you know I will be taken care of.
I have a fiancée, who loves me.
His family is like my second family.
Though they are a bit crazy, I know they care.
They help me to remember you.
Whether its accidentally, or on purpose,
I’m not exactly sure.
Sometimes it hurts,
When they talk about you.
Hurts to the point that if I don’t leave,
I have to try to hold myself together.
Other times, it’s a good hurt,
A hurt that proves to me I haven’t forgotten.
Forgotten the things you used to say,
The way you used to show that you cared.
Even as I write this out, I can feel the tears,
Build up in the corners of my eyes.
But I’ll hold off on releasing them,
As it would raise unwanted questions.
So I’ll wait till I am alone, to release my pain,
Like I have done so many times before.
Forgive me please, as the tears,
Escape unwillingly out of my eyes.
I know you wouldn’t want me,
To shed tears because your gone.
But instead be happy that your no longer in pain.
But for some reason, they won’t listen.
My heart’s tears, refuse to listen to my mind,
These tears that fall,
Are for a number of reasons.
For the memories of what we did.
For the things I will eventually forget due to time.
For the things you’ll never see.
For the time I never spent with you when I should have.
For the words I said, but never meant.
For the words I never said, that I should have.
I used to think you were invincible,
How foolish, I was to believe that.
To believe that you were anything but human,
Even after you proved it time after time.
I guess, I could just pass it off as a child’s view,
But you and I know, that I only believed that,
Because you were a constant in my life.
And now that, that is gone, I’m at a loss for what to do.
And I often find myself asking ‘what would you do?’
I will never know that will I?
Well, I’d better end this, before my tears blur my vision to bad
And I end up saying something I shouldn’t have said,
Do you remember this, the last thing I said to you?
‘Goodbye, love you, see you later…Grandma.’
Too soon did those last words come true.
I know it’ll be a long time till ‘later’,
But I just can’t wait till I see you again
And when I do, the first thing I’ll do,
Is run into your arms, and hug you.
I’ll probably never want to let go,
But I will, because in death,
Is the only time, you and I,
Will have a forever again.
So for now, grandma…
Goodbye, love you,
See you later.
Love,
Me.
I know you’ll never get this letter,
But that doesn’t mean I can’t write, does it?
Well, I don’t care if it does, because, I’m writing to you anyway.
Maybe you are reading what I write right now,
Only you would know that.
Well, I just want to express some things,
That I have been feeling and thinking lately,
So here goes nothing.
I know when I leave, I’ll be depressed,
Because I’ll be leaving mom,
But I’ll also be leaving behind,
The familiar places that remind me of you.
I should be happy about that, since,
Going to those places, or passing them,
Bring painful memories of happier times.
But I know I’ll be sad, because,
I won’t be able to have those memories,
With out the haze of time distorting them,
If I am not near the places that make them clear.
Would you be sad that I am leaving?
Or understanding, because you know I will be taken care of.
I have a fiancée, who loves me.
His family is like my second family.
Though they are a bit crazy, I know they care.
They help me to remember you.
Whether its accidentally, or on purpose,
I’m not exactly sure.
Sometimes it hurts,
When they talk about you.
Hurts to the point that if I don’t leave,
I have to try to hold myself together.
Other times, it’s a good hurt,
A hurt that proves to me I haven’t forgotten.
Forgotten the things you used to say,
The way you used to show that you cared.
Even as I write this out, I can feel the tears,
Build up in the corners of my eyes.
But I’ll hold off on releasing them,
As it would raise unwanted questions.
So I’ll wait till I am alone, to release my pain,
Like I have done so many times before.
Forgive me please, as the tears,
Escape unwillingly out of my eyes.
I know you wouldn’t want me,
To shed tears because your gone.
But instead be happy that your no longer in pain.
But for some reason, they won’t listen.
My heart’s tears, refuse to listen to my mind,
These tears that fall,
Are for a number of reasons.
For the memories of what we did.
For the things I will eventually forget due to time.
For the things you’ll never see.
For the time I never spent with you when I should have.
For the words I said, but never meant.
For the words I never said, that I should have.
I used to think you were invincible,
How foolish, I was to believe that.
To believe that you were anything but human,
Even after you proved it time after time.
I guess, I could just pass it off as a child’s view,
But you and I know, that I only believed that,
Because you were a constant in my life.
And now that, that is gone, I’m at a loss for what to do.
And I often find myself asking ‘what would you do?’
I will never know that will I?
Well, I’d better end this, before my tears blur my vision to bad
And I end up saying something I shouldn’t have said,
Do you remember this, the last thing I said to you?
‘Goodbye, love you, see you later…Grandma.’
Too soon did those last words come true.
I know it’ll be a long time till ‘later’,
But I just can’t wait till I see you again
And when I do, the first thing I’ll do,
Is run into your arms, and hug you.
I’ll probably never want to let go,
But I will, because in death,
Is the only time, you and I,
Will have a forever again.
So for now, grandma…
Goodbye, love you,
See you later.
Love,
Me.