Lost Cause

Silence.
It breaks into my heart and pierces it.
What am I supposed to do if you pull so far away?
You were never there when you should have been.
I’ve always been the girl who’d do anything for you.
Maybe it’s time to be a little bit selfish.
What’s life if I’m living it groveling at someone else’s demands?
You’re still the only one who makes me feel.
Scream.
Your voice was the only thing I heard, it rung through my head with such clarity.
You were a lost cause from the start.
Why couldn’t I save you?
I used to ask myself this question every single day.
What did I do wrong? Why can I do better?
I’m sick of all the questions, and I’m sick of trying to break down your walls.
I can’t save someone whose running from the world.
Pain.
I watched you fade into nothingness.
Or maybe it was me who faded away.
You were broken, and nothing I could do would repair the damage.
I wanted to take all your pain away, and I failed.
Now I’m left with a pile of nothingness eating away at all the chances I didn’t take.
Pain flows through me for every time I failed you.
I’m sorry.