The Game I Lost

You know what's funny about all these lies?
They stick with you forever.
The words; etched forever into my mind.
"Whore."
"Slut."
"Bitch."

After awhile, I guess I'll admit it.
Maybe it's always been true.
To everyone around me, myself included.
But never, ever to you.

You were always the one
Trying to defend me
Holding my shaking hand.
But now it's all different
A new court to play
While I'm seeping deeper, losing my game.

I used to be good
It's my game, after all.
Smiling and hiding my tears.
But its hard to hide it
From everyone you love
When your stomach won't let it sit.

"I'm not stupid," I'd say
"I can control it."
This is no big deal.
I can stop when I want to,
Just a few more pounds
But I never gave enough time to heal.

So now those words,
etched in my brain
are carved into my skin.
And never again
Will I start to forget
What its like to be hurt.