Insomnia
I'm laying here again
not able to sleep
I tell people it's a disorder
But you know it's something more deep
All these events keep going through my mind
And what I can't understand?
Is how it doesn't seem to affect you
It's like you're immune
But then again, I'm going through more
While all of this is going on
Like all the fights and drugs
Struggling not to break down
My easiest way to escape, I know you don't like it
Is to inhale that black-gray haze
Let it ooze into my body and infect my lungs
Coughing up shit in the process, but the end result is so worth it
That feeling of nothing is going to go wrong
That the world is all for you
And that if you jumped, you could even have angle wings?
Yeah, totally worth it. It's the down that kills me.
And the fact that the down always happens just before an agruement
Or maybe even a fist fight
So while my spyche is still trying to heal after what I put it through
I know have the bruises and self-cuts I have to wait to heal
And still that's not even the worse part
At least the fights aren't with you, they're with people I should have in a much higher spot in my life than I have you
But instead I treat them like dirt, and try to have nothing to do with them.
I really shouldn't, since you seem to not even care
You only talk to me when you want something, usually sex
But I painfully try to ignore it, and put on a niave smile every time you start to talk
Just because you mean that much to my pathetic life.
You think you can just mistreat me?
Ignore me?
Use me?
Well, I guess you can… I don't do anything to stop it.
It eats at my insides, worse than the pills do.
I can't even get myself to eat or sleep
You don't even seem to pay attention
So why do I keep sending these signals in your direction?
The nights I spent awake trying to think of how to pursaude you
Or just because the high won't let me go unconscious.
It's all slowly tearing me apart, and for some reason, I keep trying to use you as my glue.
Maybe I should just let it all fall apart, and see what happens.
But then other people might see this transition.
So I'll just lay here and wait
To see if there's a reaction.
not able to sleep
I tell people it's a disorder
But you know it's something more deep
All these events keep going through my mind
And what I can't understand?
Is how it doesn't seem to affect you
It's like you're immune
But then again, I'm going through more
While all of this is going on
Like all the fights and drugs
Struggling not to break down
My easiest way to escape, I know you don't like it
Is to inhale that black-gray haze
Let it ooze into my body and infect my lungs
Coughing up shit in the process, but the end result is so worth it
That feeling of nothing is going to go wrong
That the world is all for you
And that if you jumped, you could even have angle wings?
Yeah, totally worth it. It's the down that kills me.
And the fact that the down always happens just before an agruement
Or maybe even a fist fight
So while my spyche is still trying to heal after what I put it through
I know have the bruises and self-cuts I have to wait to heal
And still that's not even the worse part
At least the fights aren't with you, they're with people I should have in a much higher spot in my life than I have you
But instead I treat them like dirt, and try to have nothing to do with them.
I really shouldn't, since you seem to not even care
You only talk to me when you want something, usually sex
But I painfully try to ignore it, and put on a niave smile every time you start to talk
Just because you mean that much to my pathetic life.
You think you can just mistreat me?
Ignore me?
Use me?
Well, I guess you can… I don't do anything to stop it.
It eats at my insides, worse than the pills do.
I can't even get myself to eat or sleep
You don't even seem to pay attention
So why do I keep sending these signals in your direction?
The nights I spent awake trying to think of how to pursaude you
Or just because the high won't let me go unconscious.
It's all slowly tearing me apart, and for some reason, I keep trying to use you as my glue.
Maybe I should just let it all fall apart, and see what happens.
But then other people might see this transition.
So I'll just lay here and wait
To see if there's a reaction.