I'm to Blame

I had that smile on my face until the moment I knew what was really going on
Now I fake smile and wait until the torture is gone
I smile for them but never for me
How can I proof it, I pretend to be happy
Too many times I cried for nothing
Too many tears no one will see
I think of the moments of lies from someone
I try not to think of more to come
This smile on my face people think it's real
This smile on my face isn't how I really feal
I blame myself for the time I've wasted
Of the many smiles I've lost and faked it