Why cant I understand who I am?

It seems like I will never fully be able to
understand who I really am.
Conflicted by myself.

It seems like I always find myself doing,
all these wrong things
and I question myself why?

Will I really be able to change?
Will it all be for the better?
What if I cannot?

What if I question all the right things?
Enforce all the bad?
Question who I really am?

I find myself dilusioned,
staring at this grand illusion
my mind has betrayed me yet again.

My heart burns deep,
trying to be free
from the shackles of my mind.

What do I look like on the outside?
Just another cheerful outgoing person?
Why cant I see myself on the inside?

What am I becomming?
Why do I find myself riding this rollercoaster
when I know that the tracks are broken at the edge?