Anatomy of a Dream

Combined with memories of past events
That stir within the essence of my soul,
My mind is tormented by abysmal
Images, fear and the haunting sadness
Of a defeated man lost and desperate.
All that I've known and loved left long ago
And I stand before you, shattered, alone,
On the brink of madness, ready to close
My weary, tearstained eyes, eternally.
The icy chill of Death surrounds my skin
And yet I do not fear, but embrace it
Like a lover longing midnight passion.
I long for sleep, but it shall never come.
My heart is burdened by the dismal thoughts
Of "could have beens," and "what could be," and still.....
And still the answer is so clear to me,
Yet I ignore it like a simple fool.
The past seems only to repeat itself
And everytime, I lose what I adore.
My own fears have allowed me to succumb
To the fate I know will always follow.
I am a curse that stalks this very world
With my melancholy and the darkness
That resides within my cold, bitter heart.
The eyes and the voices of what has been
Still haunt my dreams and my expectations
Have been shattered and blown into the wind.
The touch and embrace from so long ago
Has left, and I've forgotten how to feel.
The eyes of those that struck my heart and soul,
Have cursed me with the burden of this pain
I carry with me every living day,
And my only escape is to just dream,
Dream of a land where my secret desires
Can come into fruition and I can.......
Can open my heart once again....one day.
Yet, I keep my heart hidden in plain sight
Waiting until my bravery can slip
And from my lips, admit the hidden truths,
The truths I've always dreamed to be revealed,
Yet I fear that it's too late for me, now.