Falling Inside The Black

What I appear to be on the outside
Is nothing like what I'm feeling on the other side
By day I flash smiles left and right
And I've got another personality by night
So many times I've tried to forgive and forget
But it's so hard to forgive what you did
And so much harder to forget about you
Just when I think I want you out of my life
It seems as if my heart's pulling you back in.
I don't want this school year to go fast,
But if that's what it takes to get you out of my life
Then so be it, my heart needs some peace at last.
But that's so far away,
One hundred and seventy five days to be exact
You only had me for ninety eight days,
But I've been hurt for one hundred twenty-six and counting
The summer went just fine because I didn't see you
I wasn't faced with the hurt you put in my heart
Until the second day back,
Since then, I've felt like I'm on a steep and slippery slide
One I might not get back to the top of.
I can promise that I won't forgive what you did
And I definitely won't forget
But I will be nice, I'll make you think I forgave you
I'll make you believe I forgot about what happened
And I'll make you believe I'm over you.
I wish it was that easy to fool myself
Just about everyone is now in a relationship,
But that's just according to Facebook
Which makes it official that I'm the only one left.
Why did you have to have to do that to me
And leave me behind in the dust?
I tried forgetting by saying I hate you
But I've taken it too far
And been threatened with a big change
One that I'm not willing to accept,
So from now on, I'm forced to be nice.
Why can't I take the easy way out
And just move away, and start all over?
I love that idea, it would be so much easier for me.
I'd actually be able to forget all of you
Who've hurt me in the past year.
I'd finally be free from seeing you in school everyday
And I could finally get a chance to be truely happy
Instead of just being "happy" for a few weeks
Then falling back into the same exact trap.
Contrary to what most people will say,
I don't think it will be alright, I don't think it will be okay.
You'll always be a part of me in everything I do
I can wait for the day that I forget about you.