Having fallen in the abyss of despair

no matter
how far
i run
i'm stuck
i'm stuck
fuck, please help me.
Someone?
anyone?
no one.
even the better things in life want to wash their hands clean of me.
oh God.
It's not darkness,
it's just gray.
an endless quagmire of gray.
with the rotting stench of inescapable hell.
bitter tears that know they'll never be comforted
roll down the curve of your cheek
Kill me.
Kill me.
Kill me.
Kill me because I'm too much of a coward to do it myself.
Kill me because there's no one else who'd bother to.
Kill because
our hopes--
our dreams--
our wishes--
our lies--
Never meant anything at all.