Is It Always Just Me?

Is it always just me who fucks everything up?
Who doesn't think before speaking?
Is it always just me who never knows what to say?
Who can't make someone feel better.
It seems like it.
The second I get something good in my life,
I have to go and say some shit.
Whether it be a joke or a question.
It ruins everything we had.
Or could have had.
Don't think I haven't tried not speaking at all.
Apparently that's just as bad.
I know there's no such thing as perfection.
I'm as far away from it as one can get.
But just one stupid slip up,
And I get even farther from perfection.
It's always just me who decides subconsciously to be an idiot.
No one else.
And tomorrow, all this pain will be hidden behind a Mona Lisa smile.
Hiding all these truths
Behind one lie.
That I'm OK.