My Secret Love For Him

Love hate and passion surrouding
I'm going through this tunnel and it's darkening
I'm mad at myself, not at you
There's nothing else that you could do
It's my heart that aches for more
It wants so much love, something to pour
Something to hold onto that's real
The confusion about you is so surreal
I don't understand myself right now 
I thought I figured it out but wow
The feelings came back like a train
And all that is falling are tears like rain
I wish I could tell you exactly how I feel
But things would be worse, it's my fear
I don't want what we have in a mess 
So I'll just hold on and be depressed
I'm really trying to move on
I'm trying to think, but not be gone
But I can't it's not that easy
There's no way this will be breezey
My feeling are definately there
And it's so hard to look into your stare
Because when I look in your eyes, I try not to blush
My feelings scream that this isn't a crush
There's no way you'd feel the same
So I'm battling with myself this love game