Afraid

If he thought I never loved him, he was dead wrong.
But if he thought I feared his ridicule, he was right.
I am afraid.
Afraid of rejection,
afraid to speak.
Afraid of him misunderstanding,
of him not thinking of my intentions.
All I want is him to notice.
But not to see.
And I can never tell him so,

Whenever he refuses me, I feel crushed.
So I am afraid to say what my heart screams.
I am scared of what he may think.
Scared of myself.
Scared of the consequences.
Scared of the world.
When he says something as a joke
It brings tears to my eyes.
I know he means well,
but my heart says otherwise.
Scared of him.
Scared of HIM.

Afraid.