I'm a coward, I'm weak

How do I react? How do I speak?
I can't. I'm a coward, I'm weak.
You trust me with your secrets, why can't I trust you with mine?
Why is it so hard to tell you my story this time?
I fear your rejection, I fear your distrust.
I fear being left to sit in the dust.
How do I tell, without seeming so cliche?
How do I know you'll believe what I say?
I hardly believe myself anymore, its been so long since.
I try not to think about it because it doesn't make sense.
My dreams relive it in terrible color.
They force me to experience a different version, same horror.
The way you were just able to tell me, I think God is telling me to speak.
I can't. I'm a coward, I'm weak.
Once again, I fail to tell you what happened. I am to blame.
I hate myself for my silence. I'm just too ashamed.
Fear held me back from speaking before.
Were they right in what they called me and more?
Maybe, I don't know. I can't say I don't care.
I should have spoken out. Told him right then and there.
But I hardly reacted aside for my silence. I refused to speak.
God or Fate gave me the chance, but I'm a coward and too damn weak.