i cant and i wont

i hold my breathe
and wont let go
until i die
and i cant breathe
to save myself
because i cant
because i wont
i try to be bright
and happy as ever
but really nothing
will ever change
because it cant
because i wont let it
so at my funeral
please dont cry
im addicted to the ain
and i cant let it go

okay about this poem, the truth is i couldnt let it go even if i tried because i have a chemical imbalance and i've been diagnosed with depression.i know if i try i can do it, but to to me its just nothing. i cant know that people care about me unless they tell me. so yeah, the story behind that poem.