now what to do

ive done it
at the start of the year I made a check list
of all things I was going to do before I got locked away
and the key was thrown away
make it to my 18th birthday
check
be here for my sisters 17th birthday
check
go to my last school formal
check
finish my last year of high school
check
now what
ive done everything I put in front of
myself
and now
the only thing to look forward to is
cold steel bars
and getting fucked up the ass twice a day
by a big hairy tattooed bloke
so now what
do I put another mountain to climb
so it blocks my vision of what is really coming
or try not to look forward
live in the here and the now
I don’t now
but now im where I was at the start of the year
having trouble getting out of bed