A brother is forever

They say it's for your good,
But I only hear lies.
This mask I put on is blood-splattered and torn.
Its holes show the hollow shell I have become.

These tears have your name on them.
Your all I have and your all that you can take away from me.
I've used many tissues crying for you and I don't know how many are yet to come.

We are 5000 miles apart,
but yet closer than anyone has ever been.
If you look into my eyes you will see nothing but emptiness.
No fire.
You were my spark.
My fire.

Sometimes I pull me hair so hard that I feel like I'm going bald.
An experience you've never had.

Eyelids painted black and stained red,
But they can't tell.
One pair of skinny jeans and a cut later,
They still can't tell.
But you could.

When you leave your taking my legacy with you.
I ask you if your going to miss me,
A simple "yes" is your response.
We know I'm going to miss you.

So the question is what am I going to do about it?
What can a girl with no say do about anything?