Never Enough

God,
Is it wrong for me to question you?
There’s my father, telling me you exist
My Chemistry professor saying you don’t
I just… I’m fucking confused, that’s what
Who are you? Why aren’t you here?
Do you see the suffering you’ve caused?
The monsters you’ve created?
Why do you put us through all this shit?
No matter what I do or how I act
I always end up feeling guilty
All because of you
I hate feeling this way and I admit
Most of the time, I hate you, too
After all, who the fuck do you think you are?
Just marching right into my life
Making it hard to live with no regrets
I try my damnedest to be a good person
I volunteer, I help, I donate money
What do you want from me?
I’m doing all I can, but there you are
Whispering in my ear
It’s not enough, never enough
How much can I give before
I give myself away?
Is that what you want?
Should I just off myself now
And spare the suffering to come?
I’m not a saint, but I have my moments
I don’t want my life to revolve around you
I’m not one of your raving neophytes
I won’t whip myself, or wear a cilice for you
I would have thought you were just and kind
But rapists roam free and unchecked
Parents have to bury their children
Alcoholics ruin families
People turn to cutting
I’m not saying I haven’t
I’m just as guilty as the rest
I’ve smoked, cut, drunk, stolen
But I’ve repented in my youth
You though, you show no sympathy
You created us but don’t assist
Parents beg you to spare their children
Others beg you for strength
They pray and they pray and they pray, pray, pray
But what do they get from their efforts?
Absolutely nothing, not even a proper answer
You just leave them in the dust alone
You ignore your creations
You’re mute and deaf
You’re useless
A fairytale for men to waste breath on
So just tell me this, you son of a bitch
Do you even care at all?