They'll Always Have Paris

One day she was asked if she wanted to be or not to be
held close by Humphrey Bogart
while he strummed a gilded bouzouki.
Well, over the bed post she draped the rosary beads
and unlaced the ribbons of her corset
as her skin prickled from the whack of the spoon.

Do you want to be the big or little spoon?
You don’t need to decide if you want to be or not to be
for instead we shall play the core set.
And while dear old Mr Humphrey Bogart
sat and grasped his rosary, beads
of sweat clung to the strings of the bouzouki.

Shall you choose the Greek or Irish bouzouki?
Perhaps you can incorporate a spoon?
Here, take these goddamn rosary beads
and give her the line “to be or not to be.”
It’ll probably annoy the star Humphrey Bogart
but just make her wear a corset.

He’ll see the boned curves of her corset
and that guy will play her like a bouzouki
because he’s got moves like Humphrey Bogart.
But all he really wants is a wooden spoon
which he can poise over her whilst he decides to be or not to be.
Well, they’ll always have Paris and their wanton rosary beads.

And as she pulled the rosary beads
tight through the eyelets of her corset
she wondered if she wanted to be or not to be
playing that tune on a bouzouki.
After all, she had not a single spoon
left with which to feed Humphrey Bogart

for he has an incredible appetite this Humphrey Bogart
and is never sated by her rosary. Beads
are all she wants to decorate this spoon
as she slips it down the front of her corset.
They’ll plan a soliloquy with this bouzouki
and never stop to ponder “to be or not to be”.

Play it again Humphrey Bogart on your gilded bouzouki
and leave ‘to be or not to be’ in a box with the spoon.
Only then will she sit on his rosary beads and slip off her corset.