Reunion
I’ve never felt more out of place
Than at my family reunion
This is my family, the people I love
But why do I feel so alone?
I end up in my own little world
If someone approaches, I find preclusion
By slipping away like a snake
And going somewhere on my own
People who are better than me surround me
They’re successful and I’m just not
All I do is school, softball, and Mibba
While they, they’re excelling at jobs
Cousins Justin and Shawn are pilots
They make lots of money; they’re married
Justin’s wife just had a baby, and Holly,
Shawn’s wife, is pregnant, like holy shit
My uncles are CEO’s, firemen, paramedics
And all I want to be is a chef
Their wives are nurses, good mothers, and kind
They’re all about to retire
My family’s outgoing, but I’m not
My family’s real social, but I’m not
My family’s intelligent, but I’m not
They’re more than I could wish to be
They make me feel so small, so insignificant
Because I haven’t achieved anything in life
There’ve been softball trophies, cooking awards
And a couple contest wins on Mibba
But that doesn’t matter to them; they don’t care
I’m the black sheep, the one they don’t acknowledge
The one breaking the mold and branching out
I don’t want a boyfriend and I don’t want kids either
I’m just a ghost at these family gatherings
A non-entity huddled against a large, white wall
My heart’s aching, my soul’s weighing me down
I should say that I’m worth something, even to them
Yet I can’t because that’d be far too vocal
Too out of character, too out of place
These people make me meek and mousy
They tear my heart apart
They love me. I can’t deny their sincerity in that
But you don’t have to like someone you love
I know they talk about me, whisper behind my back
That I won’t ever amount to anything
That’s fine, let them talk, it won’t break me anymore
Because whenever I’m not here, I’m fine
I feel like I belong and I’m liked for who I am
And maybe one day I’ll find the courage
Maybe one day I’ll find the means
To stop coming to these blasted things
To refuse to subject my heart to agony
And stop being out of place among family
Than at my family reunion
This is my family, the people I love
But why do I feel so alone?
I end up in my own little world
If someone approaches, I find preclusion
By slipping away like a snake
And going somewhere on my own
People who are better than me surround me
They’re successful and I’m just not
All I do is school, softball, and Mibba
While they, they’re excelling at jobs
Cousins Justin and Shawn are pilots
They make lots of money; they’re married
Justin’s wife just had a baby, and Holly,
Shawn’s wife, is pregnant, like holy shit
My uncles are CEO’s, firemen, paramedics
And all I want to be is a chef
Their wives are nurses, good mothers, and kind
They’re all about to retire
My family’s outgoing, but I’m not
My family’s real social, but I’m not
My family’s intelligent, but I’m not
They’re more than I could wish to be
They make me feel so small, so insignificant
Because I haven’t achieved anything in life
There’ve been softball trophies, cooking awards
And a couple contest wins on Mibba
But that doesn’t matter to them; they don’t care
I’m the black sheep, the one they don’t acknowledge
The one breaking the mold and branching out
I don’t want a boyfriend and I don’t want kids either
I’m just a ghost at these family gatherings
A non-entity huddled against a large, white wall
My heart’s aching, my soul’s weighing me down
I should say that I’m worth something, even to them
Yet I can’t because that’d be far too vocal
Too out of character, too out of place
These people make me meek and mousy
They tear my heart apart
They love me. I can’t deny their sincerity in that
But you don’t have to like someone you love
I know they talk about me, whisper behind my back
That I won’t ever amount to anything
That’s fine, let them talk, it won’t break me anymore
Because whenever I’m not here, I’m fine
I feel like I belong and I’m liked for who I am
And maybe one day I’ll find the courage
Maybe one day I’ll find the means
To stop coming to these blasted things
To refuse to subject my heart to agony
And stop being out of place among family