Waiting

As I linger in the corners of the world,
My heart forces me to sit and wait
As I regard my other half
Attempting to find another piece of himself

It reminds me of a story I once heard
That played with cliché
About a dog loyal
Who sat and waited like I

It began with an old man
With an ordinary plan
To go to work and pay the bills
So that he could return home

And everyday this man
Accompanied by this dog
Would walk a mile long
To catch the train before it was gone

And the dog would sit and wait
Not far from the station gate
And never would it wander
Despite the weather warm or somber

And the man would then return
And the pair would run on home
They ate together every night
So they’d never be alone.

But then one not so very different day
The man suffered death down town
And so he never caught the train
And the dog was left there, all year round.

Despite the town’s coercing
The dog loyal remained
At the station gate, and waiting
For the man the dog had tamed

After many weeks flew by
The dog began collapsing
From lack of sleep and eating
It’s soul began detaching

And they say the dog still waits there
For its master to return
Some say they hear it whining
And wishing for time to turn.

So I see myself as the dog who
In a hopeless situation
Is still hopeful for the return
Of a man who’s lost and free

But it’s like waiting for the grass to grow
Or waiting for the trees to die
Or waiting for the snow to fall
Or waiting for the paint to dry

It’s as frustrating as
Not knowing what the answer is
Or understanding all the issues wrong
Or banging my head against a wall
Or walking before one can crawl

It’s like being in the dark for all
Of time and feeling I am small
But forcing to feel that I am tall
While waiting for the stars to fall

And I’m waiting and waiting and
Waiting.
Just to compete with something “more”
Than I can hope to be

But why can’t I be better still
Than that which I know beg to kill
Me off within my lover’s mind
While demonizing me, who’s blind
to everything that’s going on
For all I know there’s nothing wrong
But in the dark I must remain
Until there’s something to be gained

But what if I don’t want to wait
And be alone and seal my fate
And pretend that someone else is there
Within the cruel and smokey air

But only to be used again
Just like the one before
My body couldn’t take it
Everyone coming for more

So I’m backed within a corner
And my safe bet is to wait
No matter how much I’m beaten down
I’ll still have my heart rate.

He tells me to move on and leave
But he knows that I won’t listen
I don’t want another one
Who will make my eyes glisten

I want him, who's heart does soar
And encourages me to be something more
And makes me better than who I am
And makes me happy and not give a damn.

I already have so many
Who have broken my heart
I can’t take another one
I can’t have a new start.

So I will wait so loyally
I’ll do everything I’m told
I’ll wait as long as necessary
Even until I’m old.