Eat the Bullet or Pull the Trigger

I hold it steady 
Aim a shot
Aim at you
But I cant force myself to fire
Can't let go of what I'll lose
Did you know I was so close to ending
Everything that was ever us
Would you have turned away so quickly 
If you knew I had a gun

But I start to thinking
It never was more
Than a girl who went hoping 
Dreaming it was more
More than a friendship
More than a lie I told to my self
And a boy who new all along
But kept his heart to himself

Now my hand is shaking 
My heart it trembles too
Second thoughts are the worst thoughts
Because they always know
They can feel the fear 
You can see my face
Does it look like I'm kidding
Do think I'll just let it go away

Now it's my choice
Let go or pull the trigger 
Because I know if this problem continues
My problems will be much bigger
But I can't fire
I can't do this awful job
I'm a hopeless romantic
Not a killer of flaws
So instead I'll eat this bullet
Not put it where it belongs
Inside your heart
Where I should have been all along