Butterflies

Sleepless,
Fighting the tears, fighting the urge,
Another kiss of a butterfly brushes my arm,
Opening a bloody smile,
I want to feel your razor lips upon mine,
Maybe just once,
One time,
Your driving me mad,
Its like you stole my soul,
That night I ran through the rain,
To where you slept,
And to know I had the courage got me through the day,
I miss your touch,
Calloused fingers upon porcelain white,
You were insanity in its most elegant form,
She was trying to be something she wasn’t,
Was I not always honest?

Did you not see what she made you?
You were once beautiful,
Did no one see that but me?
What happened?
What changed?
Graceful, wonderful, beautiful,
I was proud to fucking know you!

Now I regret ever loving you,
Ever pleading for your kiss,
Now im drawing butterflies on my arms,
Trying to save whats left of my sanity,

Do you know how hard I tried,
Trying to savor every last touch,
What we had wasn’t love,
I wish I could call it lust,
Could say you wanted me,
Could say anything at all..
Now im mute,
Fallen ill to your trap,
You stitched my lips shut and placed a razor in my hand,
Do you love me now? Do you love me now?
I would cry on unhearing ears,
Ode to misery, I suppose it was,
You were sadistic, and I, a masochist,
Fell in love with your games,
With every smirk and every breath I fell deeper,
Wanting to feel your lips on my skin,
I remember every word you’ve ever said,

Oh, my addiction,
I don’t want these memories,
Take them and go before I torture myself more with each word,
Maybe one day ill name a butterfly after you.