Learn to love your life

I sat in my room.
Outside it was cold and raining. I loved the rain, because you could not see how I cried.
It was once again one of those days when you had nothing to desire.
I sat there alone. Once again.

My friends had no time for me again.
As always.
Depressed of all, I switched and started a music loudly to sing along.

''Wake me up, wake me up inside, wake me up inside, safe me from the nothing I've become.
Bid my blood to run, before I come undone. Safe me from the nothing I've become.''

Went the song.
It was one of my favorite songs because it expressed my feelings.

I have often tried to make people aware of it.
But all my friends and my family looked away.
So I continued.

At each oh-so forsaken and depressing day, I went into the kitchen and pulled out the knife.
1 cut, 2 cuts and so on.
I can not describe the feeling was like. It felt okay, yes to almost good to see the blood trickle down my arm.
I thought by myself to feel alive again.

My grandparents were away and my mother had once again been to into the night at work.
So I had time for me. Time for me again 'feeling alive'
It was Friday and my oh-so-great best friend should have a sleepover at mine but she canceled it shortly before.
Once again.

I was so disappointed and angry that I decided to treat yourself to a glass of vodka.
But it was not just one.
Quick and informative was the bottle I was drunk on my bed.

Dingding

An Tex message:
After several attempts I managed to open it and read it.

Sender: Hunny <3
heyy sweetheart.
We need to talk. the way you're acting is not normal.
are you going to emo?
I can not stand any more.
I'm sorry but I have to make statements.
But we can remain friends
LG

And that gave me the rest
I stumbled into the kitchen and grabbed the knife.
In my drunken state I did not see where I cut and so it happened.
It hurt. More than usual, and the blood was always more.
Suddenly I noticed that something was wrong.

I was very sleepy and I felt dizzy.

-------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------

Effort, I tried to open my eyes.
My wrist ached terribly.
When I saw the hoses and the stiril white room, I realized that I was in the hospital.

God is thanks to my mother arrived home as I collapsed.
She immediately called an ambulance.

Everything has gone out safely.
When I was allowed to return home from hospital, my mother went with me to a child psychologist.

Since I have never in the slightest thought of hurting myself.
I've found new friends and am happy.
I've learned to love my life.

Nothing in the world is worth dying for.