My Apologies, Darling.

This sudden desire,
For something forbidden.
For something promised,
To be distanced from.

For something I once felt ashamed
Of putting to my name.
Though half of me looked at it with pride.
Because I had gotten over the sorrow.
But the sorrow turned to anger.

This sudden desire.
For something that made me panic,
For something that I did in spite,
As an insult to a memory
An insult to a person I will always love.

When a moment approaches
Where the love fades,
I feel resentment.
And the urge for this forbidden deed
Returns to me.

Takes control of me.
The spitefulness returns again.
I want to put the memory to shame
And put my mind at rest.

I nearly want to break the promise I made.
To the one who maybe,
Just maybe,
Actually does care.