confused and something

i don't know what to say
people tell me they care, every day
but do they mean it?
why do i have trouble placing their words and actions together, like a kit?
i've tried to cut, but people found out
and i couldn't even force myslef to loose my pout
it feels like im just hiding...from who?
hiding from what?
hiding from the reasons i cut?
the reasons my heart feels like a puzzle with pieces missing?
or just from the reason i can't stop wishing.
wishing to make myself likable
wishing that i could make my friends look at me differently,
normally,
like a human being and not a parasite...
if i feel good,
the people around me feel differently then they should.
my misery is a good thing
that makes more people want to sing.
i just can't piece it together....
and it all comes back to a few simple questions:
do people care about me?
if i disaperared off this earth, will people cry?
will the even notice?
what do i mean to people?