Today

Today I cried for the first time in years;
Tears streaming-silent sobbing,
Numbness following-staring unthinking,
Suicidal thoughts screaming static in the background.

Today I spent the first of many days not eating;
Stomach growling-mouth watering,
Quietly refraining-secretly longing,
Proud the next day after losing two pounds.

Today I watched my kitty die;
Stroke striking-lungs collapsing,
Back-legs dragging-heart failing,
Suffering from bereavement unable to let her go.

Today I made the first cut;
Silver glinting-red bleeding,
Quick stinging-scarlet staining,
Elation giving wings to lost forgotten happiness.