Lost And Cold In Desperation

I am the perfectionist always critiquing,
I am the OCD girl realigning her notebooks,
I am the silence always lingering,
I am the happiness that’s always missing.

I am a lot of things and many you would never guess like;
The girl in constant hunger turning down her meals,
The girl with gouges in her legs from self-inflicted wounds,
The girl who mentally abuses herself,
And the girls who’s thoughts locus solely on suicide.

I am the happiness always missing,
I am the depression in your thoughts,
I am the teenage girl alone in this world,
I am the stranger in need of a shoulder to lean on.

At first glance you would see that I am just;
An average looking girl,
A quiet respectful humble student,
The strong sheltering rock for others,
Always seen laughing with high spirits unlike the ones below.

I am the stranger in need of a shoulder to lean on,
The depressed teenage girl on the verge of the edge,
Lost and cold in desperation,
Longing for the end to come.

Everyone views me as perfect and angelic the truth is;
I am always on the verge of tears,
I am always putting myself down and listening to the voices,
I long for death and suicide,
I hate my life and want nothing more but escape.

Longing for the end to come,
I make one last desperate cry for help,
Try to perfect my broken down life,
Count to three and close my eyes.