Ode to the Toilet Bowl

As I kneel here holding on
I can't help but wonder why,
My stomach and booze can't get along
No matter how hard I try.

I drink and drink without stopping to think
Of how this would take its toll
While my freinds are laughing, having fun,
I'm talking to the toilet bowl.

"Thank God you're so nice and cool on the side,"
I say as I grip the rim.
Then Mr. Cuervo takes off into the bowl,
Followed by Jack and Jim.

Maybe next time before I drink
I'll think better, I just might
Or maybe I'll just keep trying my best
When I go out next Saturday night.