The Days Go By

The Days Go By.

The days go by.

The days go by

And I can’t stop the pain, I can’t stop this self loathing, even as I smile and spend time around my significant others, those being my best friends, the thoughts add up and multiply like an epidemic called suicide.

I wish I could stop all of at once, and I am tired of all the ’Correct’ people telling me that if I do it I am going to hell, I honestly don’t give a shit I am already there. This pressure of all of these self accuring emotions is starting to break the bottle.

I am tired of all this..this..feeling. I just want it to dissapear into the oblivinon that is my closet the one inhabited by my old dead skeletons. I can’t understand how this happened to me, they the ’Correct’ ones tell me it is because I never let God in, but they don’t know shit, I let God in. I repeated the prayers since before my birth, I let him shine on me. He’s the one that made the fuse burn and let the darkness take me. Don’t get me wrong I know how ’Un-Catholic’ this sounds, but I am tired of everyone telling me what I need to do. I know what I need to do.

And Yet I am Too Chicken To Draw The Blood.

TooCHICKEN To shoot The Gun

So tonight, I’ll close my eyes, and let them rest. Let the tears prickle and burn, and I will take the breaths and make my heart ache less, and let life take me on. Because the days go on.