The Suicide Letter

I cant imagine what it was like in the fetus because I only remember the day I opened my eyes for the first time and saw that man, that blurry man, hit that woman, that terrified woman, and my face went cold and numb and I forgot what that man and woman looked like because I can only see clouds of tears down my face as I look into my face and wonder what is life?

Life

What life?

I tremble in bitterness of what comes to mind when you walk pass in plastic and criticize what you can’t afford on me, yet flash rubber into the pupils of your acquaintances eyes and say I’m the fake one. Do you know what’s real?

I hate you

What hate?

I shake at the thought of ‘I love you’ because that word is too strong for you and when you use it you forget what it means so quick even I don’t understand the definition anymore because that’s in a different language.

I love you

What love?

You claimed you adored me because I burned a hole in the drum trapped in your chest yet when I left it was fine. I don’t listen to music so high anymore. I don’t listen to music too low either, cause when I do my vocals wither as I try to sing but choke on my own downfall.

I need you

What need?

I don’t cry outside anymore because salt falls out and it only burns me. It turns my brown eyes red and my fair face pale. What tears? They don’t exist anymore.

I miss you

I miss you