Ode to Depression

They try to blame me
To shame me
To cover me with their disgrace
They lead me to think I'm worthless
Hopeless
I give up and become careless
There're no consequences
No one cares enough to check
I push myself, with no boundaries, to a point past disgust
It might seem that my life is an unrestrained mess
But that's not even the worst

They told me all along that it's all my fault
My fault that I wish I could die
That I cut myself, just for the pain
Is the fault of no one but I

Maybe I'm just a masochist
Maybe I like the pain
When the anger and defeat have faded away
It's the only thing that remains

Maybe the confusion and the doubt
Are what led to my sadism
They keep telling me and telling me that it's all my fault
And eventually I just believe them.