Things I Like to Tell Myself

I like to tell myself “I don’t care what happens next”
But I know that that's not true.
I like to tell myself “it'll all work out eventually”
But of that I'm not quite sure.
I like to tell myself “it doesn’t hurt”
But I don’t even know what pain is anymore
I like to tell myself “I don't need him to love me”
But I've never longed for anything more
I like to tell myself “I don't mind the silence”
But I crave the passionate sound of life
I like to tell myself “I look forward to the future”
But I'm terrified to even glance at my own past
I would like to tell myself “you aren't ugly”
But I cannot bear to tell that lie