"Surprise! The Greatest Gift"

Surprise, surprise! I got you a present
It’s not in a box, it’s in a package
There’s no wrapping, there’s a cover
This isn’t a toy, this is a tool

Take a guess, go on go on go on!
It ain’t a test, come on come on come on!
Want a clue?
There’s me and there’s you

Surprise, surprise! I sent your present
You refused, you declined, you turned it down
The world’s greatest gift of all
It tumbles, it stumbles, it falls and falls

Take a guess, go on go on go on!
It ain’t a test, come on come on come on!
Want a clue?
There’s me and there’s you

Surprise, surprise! I cried
I tried and tried
You said, “I’d rather DIE!”
Well here it is
Angry and pissed

I’m your gift, the special kid
Here I go, forcing you on your bed
Spread your legs
We’ll make more presents

It’s not rape if you yell “SURPRISE!”

Surprise, surprise! It’s the greatest birthday celebration
Hip hip… DECAY!