I waste away my thoughts

I Think about taking my own life
Everytime I hold the knife.
I think about making a new cut
Thinking it do me a favor.
Everytime I hold the Razor.
I think about taking a bunch of pills.
When the pain becomes too much to deal
I think about drowing my self in my own sorrows
Cause I'm tired of the fears.
I'm tired with the What If's
I'm fed up with the so many tears.
I'm sorry dear family.
This wasn't how it was suppose to be.
I'm sorry my dear love.
I will always love you for enternity
I'm sorry for my dear friends
This wasn't how it was suppose to end.
I'm sorry dear those who dont know me.
but then again why am I apologyzing.
Half of you just laughed as I showed you my wrists.
As I bleed.
Maybe I'll regret my choice on wanting to leave.
Maybe My soul, my heart, will finnaly be at rest.
Maybe my mind will be at peace.
But for now, I geusse I try and get some sleep.
Cause these thoughts are starting to get to me.
so I got to try and push them away
Cause i know I need to live for at least one more day.
Maybe then things will be finnaly OK