Pointless Thoughts

I feel like the world has turned its back on me.
I feel like a pain stricken child.
A child who was once happy,
is now forever damaged.
A child's tears,
that won't stop flowing.
Tears permanently painted,
they are on my face.

These tears I cry,
are all because of you.
This pain I'm in.
It's all because you thought what you did,
was okay to do.
I am not only disgusted with you,
I am disgusted with myself too.

I'm ashamed,
that I let you get the best of me.
To force me to do something,
I never wanted to do.
And till this day,
you still think it was okay.
God,
I was only eight.
Now everyday,
it replays in my mind.
How could I ever think,
that I was going to be fine?

Why do you think,
you have the right to control me like this?
The real question is,
why did I ever let you?
This is my mind and my body,
something I should of never let you have.
That is the one mistake,
I will choose not to make again!

This is the last time,
someone will ever take advantage of me.
I refuse to be hurt.
To feel like nothing in the world matters,
to hate myself more than I should hate you.
I don't know,
if I will ever overcome this.
I do know one thing though;
In the end,
I'm always going to be better than you.