Bittersweet

I hurt inside
the temptation is to make the outside hurt too

I want to feel some sharp object
slicing into my skin

I want to feel the sweet release
as endorphins rush through my brain
and blood seeps through the open cut

I want to believe for a minute that everything's okay

I want to punish myself for being such a bad person
for that there is only one way.

Its so tempting to give in right now
but I'm lost in a sea of confusion

for I also know that if I start cutting again
I may never stop
Its an addiction of sorts
on so hard to quit

Not to mention the guilt I'll feel if I give in

This fight is rather bittersweet.