Childish

Am I lost?
Am i doing the right thing?
I just want to live,
Dont want to wonder anymore,
I grew up a long time ago,
Forced to,
My a mother,
Never sober,
And a father,
Couldnt keep his fists to himself,
A stepfather,
Mothers touch wasnt enough,
To keep his sanity,

A child crying out for love,
Hung herself,
Leaving a cold mess in her wake,
Melted,
Returned to a childlike innocence,
To be brushed aside,
No longer cold,
Red hot agony bursting through,
Dreams keeping her sane,

Blue eyes,
Meeting brown ones,
She felt loved,

Were they right?
Were they perfect?
She often wondered,
They werent,
But apparently neither was was she,

So she allowed herself,
The luxery of death,
Because no one else would,
She allowed herself her death,
And left a scared, pained girl,
Where she once stood,

The scared girl,
Is slowly freezing,
Forcing herself to submit,
To the pain,
Befriend it,
Because thats all she has left.