Jack and Jill... Sorta...
It hops and hops around
It hops all throughout town,
It spots Jack sitting on a bench,
And it hops and twists its neck in a cinch,
Jack hears a beep
And in another leap,
The bunny exploded in a heap.
Another bunny came,
Hopping through the same,
He saw Jill,
Then got a feel
He started flying
But exploded trying.
Jack survived the first,
But now he had a thirst
And to the nearest pool,
He thought he was so cool
And then the duck came
He thought it was lame
But it was on a mission
It wasnt fishin',
And it blew Jack away.
It didnt want to stay,
Anyway.
Jack pulled out an umbrella
Landing safely on Cinderella
While Jill
Was taking a pill
With a seal
Ready to kill
He stabbed her once, twice, three times more
Then Jill fell to the ground
Bleeding dead on the floor
Jill rose from the dead,
Blood dripping from her head,
And she glared at Jack
Ready to nail him with a tack,
And she staggered forward,
A knife tilted toward,
She threw it at his heart,
And he let out a big stinky fart,
And they both fall over dead,
But before Jill said,
"Hah, I win.
Even if you didnt grow a fin"
They went up into the light
But it wasnt the end of the fight
He shot her with a gun,
Sending her into the sun
He watched her burn
As she threw up a fern
Then let out a hardy laugh
Then continued on his path.
Jill wasnt prepared to die
She would rather fill Jack up with pie
And send him to the wicked old hag
Who would eat him in the bag
And then he would rot
Before being thrown up in a pot
And then he would be smoked
And his innards poked
Such were her evil thoughts
That she almost forgot the battle being fought.
He climbed up the nearest tree,
Getting ready to make Jill pee
He would give her a diaper,
But he wouldnt wipe her.
He thought of other things he could do,
Most of which involved glue
He could put her in a box
With a blood-thirsty fox
Or treat himself to dinner
By letting her body simmer.
He would try his best to do them all,
For he knew he would not fall.
Jill knew a girl
Someone who could make you hurl
She was an expert at war
And it wasnt just folk-lore
She would get an Uzi, and a flame-thrower
Then a big gigantic mower
She sat plotting on the sun
Waiting for Jack to start the fun,
With her awesome machine gun.
He hopped down from the branch,
He had waited enough time to start a ranch.
He ran back over to the sun,
Then let out a hilarious pun.
It made Jill laugh,
Then he went in with a bash.
He ripped off her head,
Making sure she was dead.
He licked her face,
Then called her a disgrace.
He was sure the fight was over,
So he called in his alpaca, Rover.
Rover gave him a ride,
And Jack's head swelled up with pride.
Rover's fur was curly and blue,
So he knew that he would like to eat Jill's shoe.
He fed it to Rover, then remained on his back.
He enjoyed the attack,
And that was a fact.
Jill lay dead,
Blood spurting from her head
She wished she couldve lived
She had something she'd wanted to say
It was a classic Jack and Jill
Except without the hill
So our storys done
It sure was a lot of fun.
It hops all throughout town,
It spots Jack sitting on a bench,
And it hops and twists its neck in a cinch,
Jack hears a beep
And in another leap,
The bunny exploded in a heap.
Another bunny came,
Hopping through the same,
He saw Jill,
Then got a feel
He started flying
But exploded trying.
Jack survived the first,
But now he had a thirst
And to the nearest pool,
He thought he was so cool
And then the duck came
He thought it was lame
But it was on a mission
It wasnt fishin',
And it blew Jack away.
It didnt want to stay,
Anyway.
Jack pulled out an umbrella
Landing safely on Cinderella
While Jill
Was taking a pill
With a seal
Ready to kill
He stabbed her once, twice, three times more
Then Jill fell to the ground
Bleeding dead on the floor
Jill rose from the dead,
Blood dripping from her head,
And she glared at Jack
Ready to nail him with a tack,
And she staggered forward,
A knife tilted toward,
She threw it at his heart,
And he let out a big stinky fart,
And they both fall over dead,
But before Jill said,
"Hah, I win.
Even if you didnt grow a fin"
They went up into the light
But it wasnt the end of the fight
He shot her with a gun,
Sending her into the sun
He watched her burn
As she threw up a fern
Then let out a hardy laugh
Then continued on his path.
Jill wasnt prepared to die
She would rather fill Jack up with pie
And send him to the wicked old hag
Who would eat him in the bag
And then he would rot
Before being thrown up in a pot
And then he would be smoked
And his innards poked
Such were her evil thoughts
That she almost forgot the battle being fought.
He climbed up the nearest tree,
Getting ready to make Jill pee
He would give her a diaper,
But he wouldnt wipe her.
He thought of other things he could do,
Most of which involved glue
He could put her in a box
With a blood-thirsty fox
Or treat himself to dinner
By letting her body simmer.
He would try his best to do them all,
For he knew he would not fall.
Jill knew a girl
Someone who could make you hurl
She was an expert at war
And it wasnt just folk-lore
She would get an Uzi, and a flame-thrower
Then a big gigantic mower
She sat plotting on the sun
Waiting for Jack to start the fun,
With her awesome machine gun.
He hopped down from the branch,
He had waited enough time to start a ranch.
He ran back over to the sun,
Then let out a hilarious pun.
It made Jill laugh,
Then he went in with a bash.
He ripped off her head,
Making sure she was dead.
He licked her face,
Then called her a disgrace.
He was sure the fight was over,
So he called in his alpaca, Rover.
Rover gave him a ride,
And Jack's head swelled up with pride.
Rover's fur was curly and blue,
So he knew that he would like to eat Jill's shoe.
He fed it to Rover, then remained on his back.
He enjoyed the attack,
And that was a fact.
Jill lay dead,
Blood spurting from her head
She wished she couldve lived
She had something she'd wanted to say
It was a classic Jack and Jill
Except without the hill
So our storys done
It sure was a lot of fun.