Flowers On Your Grave

It's been over three months
since you were last with us
I remember the morning
I got that awful phone call
that you were gone from my life
tears filled my eyes as I sobbed

How could it be, I thought
I just talked to you a month before,
I just saw you two months before,

You weren't supposed to die,
not while I was away from home
You were never supposed to go that way,
not by the hands of two cruel people
who didn't know the love people had for you,
that they had taken away an important person

Even with the pain you caused
and the terror you caused,
the fear you struck into me,
No matter the bad times or arguments,
you were never supposed to go that way

I'm still questioning why months later
I still can't come to a conclusion,
nothing in my mind is good enough,

It still feels like a dream at times
I sit in your room with everything changed,
hardly believing you're really gone,
sitting in your dvd stack
are the dvds that you borrowed from me

As I picked them up I wonder about
the last time you watched them
and tears fill my eyes once again,
not believing you're gone

This has to be a dream, so someone wake me up
it can't be real, it can't be true,
someone tell me it's still just a joke

I close my eyes and open them
you're still not here
and I wonder what God was thinking
taking you away from people who loved you
with all your imperfections and problems
No reason seems good enough,
nothing you've done is bad enough,

I still miss you,
I remember your funeral
and the flowers on your casket,
seeing your face for the last time,
an image that won't leave my mind
It's actually true, you're not here
So I mentally lay flowers on your grave
until I can see it once again
to replace the mental ones with real ones