Life All Around

Fire and light bulbs!!!!! Do you like chicken? Cuz I don’t and you make me puke. Ew your face looks like some fat guys hairy back. Your mom exploded at your birthday party and you haven’t had time to recover about the fact that your brand new fuzzy carpet in your bathroom got spilled on by butter and you saw someone’s butt crack at a raider’s game and you are scarred for life so you are afraid of monkeys cuz you had a dream of one eating all your Spam and you don’t know what to do so you go to Boomers and take candy from little kids and steal all the golf balls and laugh at all the teenagers who go there to show off to five year olds. Ew that’s gross cuz they have nothing better to do cuz they are losers and they pick their noses and ew that makes all the elders sick to their stomachs. Hi do you know Chuck Norris cuz he told me my birthday cake got abducted by aliens so when I found out my mom actually ate it I realized Chuck Norris got hit by a cab so now I can’t tell him he lied even though that would be rude so I wouldn’t even do that. Anyway gosh my face hurts from looking at you. Go away! That’s right! You reading this right now…if you are, you know my boyfriend is stuck on an island in the middle of Sea World. We stay in contact by waving flash lights at each other on cloudy nights when the tide is low and the waves are green and he says he loves me in light-house-language and I love him so much and we’re going to live in a sugar castle together and have mochi children and I don’t even know his name but he gave me cookies at a Mexican birthday party I went to and I knew we were meant for each other the minute I realized the cookie had M&M’s in it. So we’re going to Fiji for our honeymoon and he’s gonna buy me a pet Cockatoo and I’m gonna name it Kevin and I’m gonna teach it how to slap people and buy it a Batman cape and someday let it fly away to Disneyland where it can be with it’s cousins. You ate Jared Leto so go jump off a cliff!