Not this time.

You enlighten me, you wear me down, you build me up
You smile and my heart sings, but I remember
I remember when I walked away
For a fool
And lost you, lost what we had
For a lifetime and a half it seemed
I watched you growing up, I watched you fall in love
With someone who wasn’t me
The girl I just couldn’t ever quite seem to become
Then when a storm hits the sea
We were thrown against the rocks
Crashing back into each other
But the pain wasn’t good enough, I guess
Because I walked away again
While keeping you close, keeping you here
Keeping you in my heart

And I abused myself
By letting myself get used
Because hard pain
Was better than the pain I feel
When you smile at me, and my heart sings
And you can’t hear the melody
That haunts my every moment
Back and forth, like a frothy dungeon
I tossed myself
Between you and my heart’s tomb
Between love and lust
Between heartache and heartache
Numb me
Breathe into me
I’m carving your name onto my heart
And carving his name into my thighs
Need me, lie to me, tell me to stay
Beg me to stay, beg me to stay
I can’t let myself run away from you
Not this time