Fear of Being Forgotten

My decision making is not precise
Some days I'm not particularly nice
I have come to the conclusion
These scars will never fade
So I wear that smile upon my face

This fat's to much that it consumes
I fear myself and am forced to move
The sweat covers me but it's not enough
The pressure of it all is to much

I want to be a new me
Not because it was new years
But because I'm suppose to be
No one should be this way
I'm happy but then I'm not
The way beauty is viewed in this world
Should be shot

I know I'm beautiful
But I want to be gorgeous
I know I'm not fat
But I want to be slim
I've conformed to change
Am I damaging myself in some way?
If I finally want to look in the mirror
And not see so many flaws?
Flaws are inevitable
But the beauty in me is unforgettable
And some days I fear people will forget me
That I will be forgotten
Put in the background
I don't want to be that girl
I want guys to gawk at me
I want them to want to know me
I want them to want me
And most of all
I want me to want myself