If Only

If only I could trade your place
So everyone that loves and misses you could see your face.

It hurts so much to live life and move on
A lot of people’s lives have changed since you been gone.

I’m having a war with myself each day,
I’m ready to die, to get carried away.

The days of war within me have gotten worse,
Some times I wonder if I’ve been cursed.

I say hurtful things to the ones close to me,
Pushing them away, they need to be set free.

I start to write letters to all my friends
And family so they will know,
How much I love them
And why I have to go.

I go to my drawer. I pull out my blade
Thinking maybe if I cut deep enough…
I will fall to my grave.

What difference would that make?
That wouldn’t bring you back from your grave.
If only I knew then what I know now
Maybe you would still be here today.